If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
