There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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