I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
