Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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