He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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