went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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