He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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