That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
