your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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