she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize