I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
