the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
