nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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