pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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