I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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