Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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