Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
