So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
