I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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