New low: just hacked my moms facebook
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
