i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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