why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
