two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
