im about as happy as oj after his trial
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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