The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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