Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence