The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
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the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
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1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.