You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.