The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
When are your genitals available?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.