he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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