He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The air was thick with penises
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
