I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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