so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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