My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
