So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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