Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
