I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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