if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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