We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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