it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
