I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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