the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
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Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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