I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
