so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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