Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
