i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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