I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
