Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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