He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
