Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
