I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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