we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
