First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
