he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
