I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
