what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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