needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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